Same owner as everything else (my user account).
I moved the directory out of the way, installed 4.0.18, and was able to get that working.
It seems the main problem was that adding my own virtual host to the listener wasn't overriding the 'example' on the main listener. Even when I tried to delete the example virtual host.
I'm also trying to get it to work with rails 3, so my application wasn't actually starting properly (because the lsapi ruby seems to only work with rails 2 so far). But still I think it should have given me the 502 timeout rather than showing the example virtual host...